Hopefully we can all move past this

Subject: Re: AP’s approval of ‘hopefully’ symbolizes larger debate over language - The Washington Post (from 2012)

I hate to disappoint anyone tenaciously holding fast to the "correct" use of hopefully, but please don't look to me for support. I'm all for acceptance. Language changes. Anything wrong with, "Happily, the test was canceled"? or, "Fortunately, the rain stopped"? If hopefully seems wrong, it's because we've been taught that it's grammatically illogical. But we accept thousands of illogical words and phrases and call them idioms, don't we?

We cannot condemn a word because it has taken on a new function. Jonathan Swift abhorred contractions — don't, can't, won't — said they'd be the death of good English. Not long ago, teachers went into paroxysms over split infinitives and prepositions at the ends of sentences, both based on artificial rules. (The New York Times has asked reporters to avoid split infinitives, not because they're wrong but because "teachers write us.")

For hundreds of years, English and American authors have used the singular "their," but most teachers still correct its use regardless of how logical it is in a particular context. In "Pride and Prejudice," Jane Bennet says: "But to expose the former faults of any person, without knowing what their present feelings were, seemed unjustifiable." That's one of about 100 uses of the singular "their" in Austin's works. Shakespeare invented verbs, nouns, adjectives, and adverbs from other parts of speech and made up completely new words in every play. Who complains about that?

Basically, we don't like to find things different from the way we've known them, and we react against much that's new — music, fashion, art, architecture, language. But we usually get used to change, and it enriches and varies our lives.

Bob Greenman

Bob passed away in spring of 2018 and is constantly missed


From me (via the JEA listserv)

Friday late. Not really sleepy. Just received my fourth nasty email (evidently from some faithful FOX viewers) ripping me for allowing Dan Savage to speak in Seattle. No idea how to respond, other than DELETE. And then I see the latest entries in the "hopefully" strand...

It is dangerous to argue with Bob on matters of language, but I will continue to ask writers to use "I hope" as opposed to "hopefully." My reason to not bow gracefully to the guidance of the AP goes beyond correctness of expression and my distrust of adverbs generally.

I campaign against arguments beginning with "I believe," or "In my opinion," or "In my mind's eye" (I give Hamlet a pass here). Those are unnecessary phrases (after all, that's YOUR name on the essay, so there's no need to remind me that what you are about to say is not someone else's opinion), but they are also phrases which provide distance between the writer and the opinion. "Hey, this is just my opinion... Please don't blame me or attack me if you disagree. I did say 'In my opinion' after all, and there is no such thing as a false opinion. Right?"

Those meaningless preambles are intellectually wimpy.

To write a sentence such as "I hope the Rockies win the World Series because I put a $20 bet down on them at 50-1" makes everything clear. I stand to win a grand. Just me, and only in very specific circumstances.

"Hopefully the Rockies will win the World Series..." just confuses and generalizes (who is doing the hoping? the team? all of America? the guy who just wasted a twenty at Harrah's?) and provides the same sort of distance between writer and argument that the ubiquitous use of "I think" creates in so many persuasive essays.

I yearn to read (and write) more powerful arguments, full of voice and passion, not timid and muddled half-apologies.

I celebrate our constantly evolving language. But I worry about the ability of so many of our students to make clear, well-supported claims, with voices that demand readers pay attention.

If students can write with logic, grace and style, I will gladly accept their invented words, daring syntax and disdain for the "rules." But until then... those hind-bound rules can help them.

Everybody Needs An Editor - a continuing series

Dec. 29, 2012

In yesterday’s Denver Post I found this in a guest column from Meredith C. Carroll, titled, “Playing around with violence”:

“While I was at a supermarket in Aspen just a few days ago, a boy not older than 4 sat in a shopping cart being pushed by his mom while creating a war – complete with imaginary bombs and noisy explosions – between an apple and potato. Like the planes flying overhead on 9/11, the sound of even pretend detonations affected me gutturally.”

Adverbs can be powerful, certainly, but they often cause problems. This use of “gutturally” is the latter sort of adverb.

The writer obviously meant something like “it affected me at a gut level,” or “like a punch to the gut.”

The definition of “guttural” is gruff-sounding: characterized by harsh and grating speech sounds made in the throat or toward the back of the mouth. The connection with “gut” is there, of course, as in the sound seems to come from deep inside the person.

Did the writer mean she actually starting making some gruff noises upon hearing the toddler’s fake explosions? Doubtful.

The writer wanted to emphasize just how much the noise affected her, and “affected” just doesn’t carry enough power… so she needed an adverb. She might have chosen “viscerally,” I suppose, or “profoundly,” rather than using the wrong word.

Better is to choose a different, more vivid verb, and avoid having to search for an adverb at all.

“…pretend detonations disturbed me… upset me… frightened me… alarmed me…” None of these may be just right, but they avoid the misuse of “gutturally.”

Or the writer might have rejected the passive voice in the sentence in favor of “I flinched at the sounds of those pretend detonations.” This avoids various problems with “Like the planes flying overhead on 9/11,” a comparison that only seems apt if she actually heard the planes overhead that morning.

But let’s not get into similes today.

Better Writing - An Occasional Series - Jan. 27, 2011

Not a member of the JEA listserv? Then you are missing useful material that can help you improve vocabulary (a strong vocabulary is the number one predictor of college success), headline writing, and even typography. But never fear. I will keep an eye on the list for you. Below are some examples you can use:

Vocabulary passages from the New York Times, courtesy of Bob Greenman (former Brooklyn adviser who taught with the Times as his only textbook):


The resurgent Republicans have learned nothing from the economic crisis, except that doing everything they can to undermine Mr. Obama is a winning political strategy. Tax cuts and deregulation are still the alpha and omega of their economic vision. (Paul Krugman) 10/24/10 Jack comment: The phrase is not just about a recent movie about wolves. In the Greek alphabet, in which the New Testament was written, alpha is the first letter and omega is the last. In the Book of Revelation, God says, “I am Alpha and Omega, the first and the last,” meaning that God remains from the beginning to the end of time. So this is a way to discuss literary allusions and a common American idiom.


Among the various large, charismatic and visibly winterized mammals that one might choose as a mascot for life in the Arctic belt, polar bears are, let’s face it, too hackneyed, reindeer too Rudolph, caribou too Sarah Palin's target practice, and woolly mammoths too extinct.


There’s a better choice, though few may have heard of it. According to Arctic biologists,
the quintessential example of megafaunal fortitude in the face of really bad weather is the musk ox, or Ovibos moschatus, a blocky, short-legged, highly social ungulate with distinctively curved horns and long hair that looks like shag carpeting circa 1975. (Natalie Angier) 12/13/10. Jack comment: Natalie Angier is one of our finest science writers, and her work can be found in almost every AP Language textbook. The vocabulary word is important, but my favorite phrase is “megafaunal fortitude,” which is, of course, an example of alliteration, but also includes a word that looks made up. Word thinks this should be two words, but I found it online as a scientific term.


Border collies are working dogs. They have a reputation for smartness, and they are highly motivated. They are bred to herd sheep indefatigably all day long. Absent that task, they must be given something else to do or they go stir crazy. (Nicholas Wade) 1/17/11 Jack comment: We often discourage adverbs, but this one seems just right. Note that the final two sentences are both in passive voice, which was chosen to emphasize the collies, not their human breeders and trainers.


It is a quandary that parents of disabled children grapple with early and often: What is the right balance between teaching them self-sufficiency and making sure they have the special accommodations they need? (Jeremy W. Peters) 12/27/10 Jack comment: Beyond the vocabulary word, this sentence features a rhetorical question that will lead into the body of the story.



A pair of triplet constructions:
WASHINGTON — President Obama challenged Americans on Tuesday night to unleash their creative spirit, set aside their partisan differences and come together around a common goal of outcompeting other nations in a rapidly shifting global economy. (Sheryl Gay Stolberg) 1/26/11


Daniel Bell, the writer, editor, sociologist and teacher who over seven decades came to epitomize the engaged intellectual as he struggled to reveal the past, comprehend the present and anticipate the future, died on Tuesday at his home in Cambridge, Mass. He was 91. (Michael T. Kaufman) 1/26/11 Jack comment: The use of triplets in descriptions provides a natural rhythm for writers. In both of these examples, the triplets stay parallel by keeping the verbs in the same tense.




Two Links that may prompt some localized coverage:
1. If you have not read about the study that found certain types of testing is superior to other forms of studying, check out http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/21/science/21memory.html?_r=1

Here’s why this study is good for scholastic journalism: Whereas much traditional education consists of delivery of information, followed by gaps in time before the “big test,” most publications and electronic media “test” regularly, with monthly, weekly, even daily, repetition of skills. Just as basketball coaches have their teams begin each practice with layup drills, even though the players have long acquired this skill, so do journalism “coaches” insist on regular practice of the fundamentals: concise language, correct style, attractive leads, etc. We don’t spend a lot of time “studying” journalism – we DO journalism.


2. Your students are watching the new MTV scripted series “Skins,” but as is normal with shows that contain “bad behavior” without obvious bad results, this show is quite controversial. Get ahead of the conversation by starting with http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/24/business/media/24carr.html and then be sure to watch an episode or two. 

Better Writing - An Occasional Series - Dec. 16, 2010

Not a member of the JEA listserv? Then you are missing useful material that can help you improve vocabulary (a strong vocabulary is the number one predictor of college success), headline writing, and even typography. But never fear. I will keep an eye on the list for you. Below are some examples you can use:

Vocabulary passages from the New York Times, courtesy of Bob Greenman (former Brooklyn adviser who taught with the Times as his only textbook):

We all know by now that we should be getting 30 minutes a day of moderate to vigorous physical activity on most days. Yet for all the proselytizing, wheedling and cajoling, only about 5 percent of the population has bought into the program. Jack comment: we are always advocating strong action verbs in our writing, and our students need to consume a steady diet of such verbs – perhaps just putting up examples like this series of gerunds on a projector to open class once a week could help?

“Being sedentary is the norm in America,” writes Dr. Toni Yancey, a professor of health services at the University of California, Los Angeles. Thanks to the plethora of labor-saving devices and motorized vehicles, we now “spend most of our waking time sitting, reclining or lying down.” (Jane Brody) 11/23/10 Jack comment: for some reason, students love the word “plethora,” and there is a danger it will be overused.

It was Wednesday, the day after he announced he was resigning as chancellor of New York City’s gargantuan, long-troubled school system. We were sitting in a conference room in the old Tweed Courthouse in Manhattan, the ornate city landmark that became the headquarters for the Department of Education in 2002, shortly after Michael Bloomberg was elected mayor and jolted the city by naming Mr. Klein, a lawyer with virtually no education experience, to the job. (Joe Nocera) 11/13/10

Public housing is falling apart around the country, as federal money has been unable to keep up with the repair needs of buildings more than half a century old.

Over the last 15 years, 150,000 of the nation’s public housing units have been lost, officials said, as agencies have sold or torn down decrepit properties. Jack comment: I’m not sure how many times the above three adjectives should appear in your publication, but they certainly show up in what kids read. A nice bonus for our students is better scores on the SAT, perhaps. Another point: this sentence is in passive voice, which we properly discourage. But here passive voice is the correct choice. We just need to teach how to determine this. I would say the same about the passive use in the Bloomberg paragraph. Perhaps Times reporters have a bit more leeway in choosing active or passive?

Sweet potato pie is a lovely concept, for a variety of reasons: it beautifully marries sweet and savory, it uses a vegetable as the foundation of a dessert, its color is stunning and it’s creamy and crisp all at once. (Mark Bittman) 11/19/10

Since campaigning in 2008, Mr. Obama has been dogged by persistent suspicions about his place of birth. Despite evidence to the contrary, a significant number of Americans still do not believe him. (Megan Thee-Brenan) 8/4/10 Jack comment: “marries” and “dogged” are unusual but apt verbs. We need to encourage our students to experiment in the writing process with simply subbing in more dramatic/precise verbs as they produce drafts. I’m sure you also note that this sentence also includes passive voice – it is more important for readers to know who is being dogged than who is doing the dogging, I suppose.

A vivid three-action-verb sentence (the second sentence here):

VIVIAN, S.D. — The storm slammed into this dusty prairie town with the clatter of falling bricks. Hail shattered windows, punched holes in roofs and mangled cars. The clumps of ice were left to melt, but one, an unusual spiked orb the size of a cantaloupe, was preserved in the freezer of an old ranch hand. (A.G. Sulzberger) 11/20/20 Jack comment: not only are all three verbs vivid, but the passage also can help us illustrate parallel structure and rhetorical triplets – it really is amazing how many times three is just the right number of examples. And, doggone it, there’s passive voice again. Would it worthwhile to do a quick exercise in class in which each of the above passive constructions need to be rewritten in active voice? Could end up with an interesting discussion.

On headline writing:

Could this headline, over an article about a more humane way of slaughtering chickens, be the headline of the year? http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/22/business/22chicken.html

And check out this headline and story: Watch the Wabbit, Watch the Wabbit http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/10/movies/homevideo/10bugs.html

Jack comment: “Watch the Wabbit” was the original head, and the Times later went with the more prosaic one that you see on the site. Great opportunity to discuss the differences (are there any?) between print and web headlines. I suppose we could overuse puns and allusions in our headline writing, but do we really want to settle for headlines that don’t drag readers to our stories?

From a listserv discussion on lede/lead writing:
Students are forever wanting to lead with one word – like “Dedicated.” You find yourself wanting to discourage this practice, and your instincts are correct. But there are always exceptions to solid rules. There's an example on the front page of the Sept. 17, New York Times:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/17/arts/dance/17ballet.html

Comment from Becky Tate (Kansas adviser): I’m going to add that to the story I tell my kids about a Dallas Morning News editor saying, “You have three times in your life to use a question lede. Choose wisely.”

Comment from Karl Grubaugh (California adviser): I once had an editor in my professional life who said you get a one-word lede once ... in your career. So make sure it's the right moment.

And a quick tip on type:
From Annette Lyon’s “There, Their, They’re: A No-Tears Guide to Grammar from the Word Nerd”

Em Dashes, En Dashes, and Hyphens
Each of these punctuation marks is a dash that gets progressively shorter and connects progressively smaller pieces of information.

Em dashes connect thoughts. (Alt + Shift + hyphen in Windows, Command + Shift + hyphen on a Mac)
En dashes connect numbers. (Alt + hyphen in Windows, Command + hyphen on a Mac)
Hyphens connect words.

Jack comment: My caveat to the above is that you and your designers need to decide what actually looks best. My students usually opted for En dashes over Em dashes, thinking the Em dash (approximately the width of an upper case M in whatever font and point size you are using) was too generous. But they also added a space on either side of the En dash, avoiding a crowded look. There is no perfect answer to which is best, but it is one of those decisions that should not be left to chance. Dang! Passive again!

Is there a place for humor and satire in the high school press?

This post was prompted by a discussion on the JEA listserv. An adviser asked about an editor's plans to publish an "April Fool" edition. Most of the respondents gave this idea a strong and quick thumbs down. But it seems to me that there is more to talk about here.

The conventional reasons given for avoiding publishing humor and satire grow out of fear (of readers not "getting" the references/jokes, of juvenile/vulgar humor, of losing standing in the community, etc.). There's something in me that resists that fearfulness.


The fact that high school students rarely can pull off humor or satire may actually be a factor in encouraging them to explore these forms of writing. After all, most of our students didn't find basic news writing to be all that easy until they had practiced extensively. We certainly should encourage our students to analyze how humor and satire work -- after all, our students are avid consumers of satiric programs like "The Daily Show," and one of our jobs is to help students become more savvy consumers of media.

I regularly see individual high school columnists pull off humor and satire in papers across the country. I also see many terrific editorial cartoons in high school media that lampoon the powerful. The key is that those successful forays into potentially risky territory are focused, well-developed, and skillful. They also tend to reside in opinion sections, where readers (and administrators) often grant greater leeway.

And that leads me to point out that "April Fool" editions tend to get overextended, trying to force humor into situations where it just doesn't work. Humor and satire can add to a publication's voice, but such techniques need to be appropriate and organic, not forced into a one-time enterprise.

So... I agree with most of my colleagues that April Fool editions are not worth the effort. But an editorial cartoonist or regular columnist who has the skill, sophistication and courage to point out the silliness or boneheadedness that we all know occasionally occurs in our communities... well, that is something we should be able to support.

All stories are about people, and editors sometimes need a reminder

Saturday morning, Jan. 1. I read a moderately interesting piece in the Denver Post about how the Baby Boomers start turning 65 today. It is a longish front page piece that jumps to the inside and concludes with a quote from a researcher at the Pew Center, saying that as a generation, "We are pretty glum." Okay. Depressing.

Once I have roamed through the Post, I turn on my Kindle, download the New York Times, and find the same article, now discovering that it was written by Dan Barry. This is probably a sad commentary, but I began reading the piece again. Imagine my surprise at finding that the Post editor had chopped the feature just before it became what I expect from Dan Barry (that is, insightful and people-focused)!

You see, Mr. Barry had tracked down one of three Americans who might qualify as the first Baby Boomers born (on Jan. 1, 1946), and that person lives in Buffalo. But we don't meet him until after "We are pretty glum."

It turns out that this first Baby Boomer has quite a story to tell -- he was not a newsmaker, not an inventor, just an ordinary guy, but his story is fascinating. Denver Post readers were not allowed to meet Aloysius Nachreiner, but you can meet him by going here. The web-version of the piece comes in two parts. The whole thing is worth reading, but be sure to meet Aloysius in part 2. Oh, and then bookmark Dan Barry's page so you can come back and enjoy "This Land" regularly.

If I had one piece of advice to share it would be: there are no stories about the Baby Boom -- there are stories about individuals born in that generation. There are no stories about girls basketball -- only stories about girls basketball players, coaches, spouses of coaches, team managers... There are no stories about American education -- there are only stories about individual students, teachers, custodians, food service workers... you get the picture.

And if you are looking to remind young journalists that they need to focus on people as we begin a new semester, think about pointing them to Dan Barry's latest.

How ESPN magazine can help us develop themed issues

This article in the July 20 New York Times points to a trend high school newspapers and newsmagazines (normally publishing only once every month) can incorporate. A theme like "ice" (which is referenced in the article) is closer to a yearbook high concept theme than the traditional: hey, it's February, and Valentine's Day is soon, so let's do an in-depth on sex!

News comes at us at an ever-increasing rate, but good analysis? Clever reporting? Narratives on what it's like to live in 2010? I'd like a little more depth, a bit more thought and wisdom. Our readers want that too.

Here's the thing: they don't know they want it until you give it to them. Don't rely on reader surveys. Readers want what they are familiar with. But ESPN magazine is finding ways to give readers what they didn't know they wanted... and making money!

And can't high schools approach advertisers with the opportunity to be part of our special themed issues?

Copyediting & Grammar

Lots of AP style quizzes

The end of copy editors? - A fun column by Gene Weingarten

Grammar Girl - It's a blog... it's a podcast... it's fun!

Attribution tips

After finally convincing reporters that use of excellent quotes -- personality revealing quotes, full of "voice" -- should be part of nearly all stories, you may be confronted with attribution weirdness.

Students seem to revel in using alternative attributive verbs, like stated, laughed, opined... you get the picture. But the main verb they need is simply "said." Said is not only correct, but it carries no potential editorial baggage. It provides attribution but is almost invisible to readers. You can prove this to yourself by counting the use of "said" in any front page story from your own local paper. Students will be amazed at how many times it is used.

Once you get the attributive verb "said" firmly established, consider working on the order of the attributive phrase. Although "write like you talk" is advice that often leads writers astray, in this case the pattern "she said," as opposed to "said she" is superior. No one would ever say to a friend in the hall, "Said Mary to me last night..."

Reasonable rules for attribution might be:
1. All direct quotes require an attribution phrase.
2. Use the verb "said."
3. The correct phrase order is "speaker said."

One last thought: I see many stories that end with a direct quote, which is a good choice structurally. But the power of the quote is diluted when the final phrase of the story is "he said." The attribution phrase is best placed within the quote, or beginning the quote. Copy editors call this "burying the attribution."

So one last suggested rule:
4. Don't let the final word a reader takes from your story be "said."